sábado, 31 de julho de 2010

ano de boa colheita

74.
(ia falar de filmes; um sonho dentro de um sonho)
como é que se muda
como é que se apaga uma "lavagem cerebral". inception. -esta devo à madame ma S-.
-sou uma ultra-liberal no meio de pessoas ultra-conservadoras.
-uma conservadora no meio de liberais.
não gosto de rótulos, sobretudo quando o conceito desses rótulos não é bem definido e é usado ao gosto do cliente.
não gosto de rótulos porque se aplicam a um produto acabado e se há coisa que os humanos não são, é um produto final.
uso rótulos. precisamos de rótulos para nos localizarmos. para sabermos (?!), reconhecermos (?!) o que nos rodeia. o que é o sonho e o que é a realidade.
os nossos pais cresceram na ditadura. mais do que um rótulo. numa realidade opressiva, manipuladora de mentes em formação, criadora de "pequenez". reconheço havia mais "ordem". há preços que vale a pena pagar.
compreendo que os nossos pais pensem que... não compreendo que pessoas que cresceram depois desse período de escuridão utilizem expressões como "o peixe pequeno...". Será que perdemos a capacidade de sonhar. de lutar pelo sonho. de sonhar.

Acho que 2010 é um bom ano de colheita cinematográfica. pode ainda (?!)não haver um que seja "the one", mas a qualidade é elevada.

The Inception. é um filme que se prolonga para além da sala de cinema e essa característica só os grandes filmes a possuem.

quarta-feira, 28 de julho de 2010

"An idea"

"What's the most resilient parasite?..."

Cobb, Inception, 2010, Christopher Nolan

domingo, 25 de julho de 2010

quarta-feira, 21 de julho de 2010

"Só estou bem onde (...) estou"

Durante tanto tempo se habituou a agradar que se esqueceu do que era ser mulher. Vitimização. seria, talvez. infantilização. adolescentização. impotência pura, sabendo-se que "nada é puro"; nada é preto e branco. mas sentimos. eu sinto. ela sentia. sentimos desmesuradamente essa ausência (do preto e do branco). Tinha que tomar uma dura decisão. e a impotência era tudo o que ela via à sua frente. sabia que estava a ver apenas as nuvens negras, mas se todo negro lhe parecia o ceu. a sua mãe. a sua cabeça. "é preciso ser homem" ; na sua gíria, ela diria "ter tomates", ou perdê-las-ei às duas, a mãe e a cabeça. e outras coisas mais. ela não era negra. apenas tinha alguns buracos negros. na sua cabeça um desses buracos estava a engolir toda a sua luz. ela sabia que tudo ia melhorar, porém tinha dúvidas se podia acreditar nisso. para que serviria a sua fé? mas e o woody allen? pensava ela, não terá ele razão. sabia. não sabia e infantilizou-se. é sempre um caminho. seria preguiça. falta de força e coragem. não seria resiliente. palavras que se tinha habituado a ler em tempos de crise. e agora estava fechada fora do seu mundo. tinha perdido a chave. como poderia aquela mulher ter sucumbido? e como poderia ela deixar os "outros" guiarem os seus passos. de resto, quem eram os "outros". quando tinha ela deixado de se responsabilizar pelo curso da sua vida. teria sido tão cedo assim?

"O passado, o que ficou para trás, só nos chega fragmentado e difuso. (...)
(...)
...o facto é que quem existe somos nós.
É em nós que habita o nosso tempo de significação. ...
...nada legitima a fuga sistemática que tendemos a fazer à única realidade que é nossa: somos quem somos, hoje, aqui e agora.
(...)"


Isabel Leal in NM, 16 Set 2006

terça-feira, 20 de julho de 2010

Provedor

Provedor dos ouvintes, dos telespectadores, do rais quo parta e das pessoas que se encontram em condições fragilizadas e quando mais precisavam de "ajuda" e deparam com uns misóginos, com diploma que lhes confere a sua crista arrogante.
-Ei E, you are not going there like that. you need some humor.

(-Será auto-comiseração?!)

(Hoje acordei com uma veia brasileira; deve ser do acordo (esta quase era engraçada): Ô Maitê o quê qui sê acha desse acôrdo?!; não tênha mêdo não, qui eu sô boa genti e num fiquei ofendida não)



(O termo caipira (do tupi Ka'apir ou Kaa - pira, que significa "cortador de mato"), é o nome que os indígenas guaianás do interior do estado de São Paulo, no Brasil, deram aos colonizadores brancos, caboclos, mulatos e negros.
inda dizem que esta cena num é iducativa)

Histerectomia, hipomania e auto-comiseração



(viva a cultura telenovelística)

segunda-feira, 19 de julho de 2010

"no more time out"

"I have a dream"

...that a day I will grow up, become a strong person and my best friend. and hopefully still me.

sábado, 17 de julho de 2010

For veggie people

He hasn’t been a good friend to himself; how could he expect to be a good friend to other people or others to be his good friends.
He needed to rest. Just for a while. They were eating him alive. He couldn’t allow that. Not while he was a person with life. Not while there was still life. He was surrounded by sharps and feeling –was that just a feeling, he wandered- like a small fish.
As much as he could see, there were two options; the first one he thought wasn’t a very good one, but he had seen a movie and on that movie, a fish with a large space to grow would become bigger. It made sense for him. What he needed was to change to other waters, to a larger ocean. But, on the other hand he though, there will always be big fishes and what I need is to build a shelf. That would be a better solution as that would also avoid the predators to desire his meat.
The last time I saw him he was, in cold waters, with this dilemma. I haven’t seen him for a long long time. I wandered what happen to that little bird.

sexta-feira, 16 de julho de 2010



http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://sofachayenn.files.wordpress.com/2009/01/gustav-klimt-the-kiss.jpg&imgrefurl=http://sofachayenn.wordpress.com/2009/01/12/gustav-klimt/gustav-klimt-the-kiss/&h=768&w=1024&sz=179&tbnid=bqVbD6T9NBWkQM:&tbnh=113&tbnw=150&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dthe%2Bkiss&hl=pt-PT&usg=__6NWSuHMZoo-_TnZ3lBqDfT5kGPw=&sa=X&ei=hypATOO0D8r34Ab9tYXQDg&ved=0CDYQ9QEwBQ

depois deste, não há nada que fits here. that's a good end.

"I'm ambivalent"

"When you don't want to feel, death can seem like a dream. But seeing death, really seeing it, makes dreaming about it fucking ridiculous. Maybe, there's a moment growing up when something peels back... Maybe, maybe, we look for secrets because we can't believe our minds... "

" I will never know what it was like to be her. "

"You are a lazy, self-indulgent, little girl, who is making herself crazy."

"Maybe everyone out there is a liar. And maybe the whole world is stupid, and ignorant. But I'd rather be in it. Id' rather be fucking in it, than down here with you."

Susanna: [reading from a book] "Borderline Personality Disorder. An instability of self-image, relationships and mood... uncertain about goals, impulsive in activities that are self-damaging, such as casual sex."
Lisa: I like that.
Susanna: "Social contrariness and a generally pessimistic attitude are often observed."
[pauses]
Susanna: Well that's me.
Lisa: That's everybody.

Susanna: I'm ambivalent. In fact that's my new favorite word.
Dr. Wick: Do you know what that means, ambivalence?
Susanna: I don't care.

Lisa: I'm not really dead.
Susanna: I know.

Girl Interrupted; Directed by James Mangold. With Winona Ryder, Angelina Jolie, Whoopi Goldberg. Based on writer Susanna Kaysen

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0172493/quotes

quinta-feira, 15 de julho de 2010

how many sides are there?



"video kills the radio star"
minimize the window and listen.

It kind of puzzles me why some people that live among 6 million people and hardly know their neighbours struggle to discover life in other planets.
I will call to know if my andorinhão is still alive; we are so fucking neglecting with ourselves and with life that surrenders us and we fuck want to know if we are alone in this universe. Human Beings are definitely a strange form of life.

quarta-feira, 14 de julho de 2010

flowers

sábado, 10 de julho de 2010

"liberdade de sonhar e me sentir livre"

"ao fim ao cabo, ...falta de respeito...era um mundo muito contido...
...e eu sonhava...aquele meio que eu achava opressivo. ...
...
...adorei o som da língua...or the days of our glory...
...
...se a pessoa tem mesmo que sobreviver...
...se há uma necessidade interior e essa...agora quando a penúria nos...
...estava todos os dias tão ocupado a fazer contas...a gestão do quotidiano...
...preciso da minha decantação...

...eu fui sempre guiado...a MINHA CAPACIDADE DE SONHO É A COISA MAIS IMPORTANTE NESTE MUNDO; ISSO E A LIBERDADE...."


(tirando os pseudo-intelectualismos e o pseudo-glamour do mundo pobre dos meninos ricos)

http://camaraclara.rtp.pt/: Min 17 ao 20

O andorinhão



http://pt.wikipedia.org/wiki/Andorinh%C3%A3o

http://dererummundi.blogspot.com/2007/05/o-voo-do-andorinho.html

http://faunaselvagemdeportugal.blogspot.com/2009/05/centro-de-recuperacao-de-gouveia.html

domingo, 4 de julho de 2010

"work in progress"

"We embark in a career path or a job before we really know ourselves at a very early age but I think we are still a work in progress. Over the course of your life we can… "

Lisa Schwartz, http://vitality.yahoo.com/

sexta-feira, 2 de julho de 2010

Borderline PD




http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/borderline-personality-disorder-fact-sheet/index.shtml

"Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a serious mental illness characterized by pervasive instability in moods, interpersonal relationships, self-image, and behavior.

This instability often disrupts family and work life, long-term planning, and the individual's sense of self-identity.

Originally thought to be at the "borderline" of psychosis, people with BPD suffer from a disorder of emotion regulation.

While less well known than schizophrenia or bipolar disorder (manic-depressive illness), BPD is more common, affecting 2 percent of adults, mostly young women.1

Symptoms
While a person with depression or bipolar disorder typically endures the same mood for weeks, a person with BPD may experience intense bouts of anger, depression, and anxiety that may last only hours, or at most a day.5

Distortions in cognition and sense of self can lead to frequent changes in long-term goals, career plans, jobs, friendships, gender identity, and values...They may feel unfairly misunderstood or mistreated, bored, empty, and have little idea who they are. Such symptoms are most acute when people with BPD feel isolated and lacking in social support, and may result in frantic efforts to avoid being alone.

People with BPD often have highly unstable patterns of social relationships. While they can develop intense but stormy attachments, their attitudes towards family, friends, and loved ones may suddenly shift from idealization (great admiration and love) to devaluation (intense anger and dislike). Thus, they may form an immediate attachment and idealize the other person, but when a slight separation or conflict occurs, they switch unexpectedly to the other extreme and angrily accuse the other person of not caring for them at all. Even with family members, individuals with BPD are highly sensitive to rejection, reacting with anger and distress to such mild separations as a vacation, a business trip, or a sudden change in plans. These fears of abandonment seem to be related to difficulties feeling emotionally connected to important persons when they are physically absent

People with BPD exhibit other impulsive behaviors, such as excessive spending, binge eating and risky sex. BPD often occurs together with other psychiatric problems, particularly bipolar disorder, depression, anxiety disorders, substance abuse, and other personality disorders.

Treatment
Treatments for BPD have improved in recent years. Group and individual psychotherapy are at least partially effective for many patients. Within the past 15 years, a new psychosocial treatment termed dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) was developed specifically to treat BPD, and this technique has looked promising in treatment studies.6 Pharmacological treatments are often prescribed based on specific target symptoms shown by the individual patient. Antidepressant drugs and mood stabilizers may be helpful for depressed and/or labile mood. Antipsychotic drugs may also be used when there are distortions in thinking.7


Recent Research Findings

Although the cause of BPD is unknown, both environmental and genetic factors are thought to play a role in predisposing patients to BPD symptoms and traits. ...This might be more pronounced under the influence of drugs like alcohol, or stress. ...

Drugs that enhance brain serotonin function may improve emotional symptoms in BPD. Likewise, mood-stabilizing drugs that are known to enhance the activity of GABA, the brain's major inhibitory neurotransmitter, may help people who experience BPD-like mood swings. Such brain-based vulnerabilities can be managed with help from behavioral interventions and medications, much like people manage susceptibility to diabetes or high blood pressure.7

References
1Swartz M, Blazer D, George L, Winfield I. Estimating the prevalence of borderline personality disorder in the community. Journal of Personality Disorders, 1990; 4(3): 257-72.

2Soloff PH, Lis JA, Kelly T, Cornelius J, Ulrich R. Self-mutilation and suicidal behavior in borderline personality disorder. Journal of Personality Disorders, 1994; 8(4): 257-67.

3Gardner DL, Cowdry RW. Suicidal and parasuicidal behavior in borderline personality disorder. Psychiatric Clinics of North America, 1985; 8(2): 389-403.

4Zanarini MC, Frankenburg FR. Treatment histories of borderline inpatients. Comprehensive Psychiatry, in press.

5Zanarini MC, Frankenburg FR, DeLuca CJ, Hennen J, Khera GS, Gunderson JG. The pain of being borderline: dysphoric states specific to borderline personality disorder. Harvard Review of Psychiatry, 1998; 6(4): 201-7.

6Koerner K, Linehan MM. Research on dialectical behavior therapy for patients with borderline personality disorder. Psychiatric Clinics of North America, 2000; 23(1): 151-67.

7Siever LJ, Koenigsberg HW. The frustrating no-mans-land of borderline personality disorder. Cerebrum, The Dana Forum on Brain Science, 2000; 2(4).

8Zanarini MC, Frankenburg. Pathways to the development of borderline personality disorder. Journal of Personality Disorders, 1997; 11(1): 93-104.

9Zanarini MC. Childhood experiences associated with the development of borderline personality disorder. Psychiatric Clinics of North America, 2000; 23(1): 89-101.

10Davidson RJ, Jackson DC, Kalin NH. Emotion, plasticity, context and regulation: perspectives from affective neuroscience. Psychological Bulletin, 2000; 126(6): 873-89.

11Davidson RJ, Putnam KM, Larson CL. Dysfunction in the neural circuitry of emotion regulation - a possible prelude to violence. Science, 2000; 289(5479): 591-4.

"celebrate"

holiday is always good...even if...
bitter girl: holiday is for those who have an employment.

(great belly ;)



let's forget just for a moment that we are in a crisis. when was the last time we weren't?! I' m in my early thirties and fear should be a word that i wouldn't know...but...
Let's dance. even the white people!!

"Tell me your fears"

(although I may not want to hear them as I am buried in my owns; but please try me up even if I'm not in the mood)

"high and..."

"...dry" (can someone, please, advise me some happy song?!)



(now, i really looks like german)

pathway to growth

"Remorse...will frequently block the pathway to growth"

"It is a complex emotion, comprised of sadness, regret, anguish, loss and despair...The individual has a terrible recognition of some self-sabotaging behavior, or of some psychic pain that has...hampered their progress...
...
...only by opening up the complex of the feeling of remorse can forward movement be made.
..."

Clive Hazell in The Experience of emptiness